Do You Want to Look Like a Little Girl?

Happy Friday everyone!!

Thank you so much for your wonderful comments about my veil :D. All of your giddiness rubs off on me and makes me even more happy!

Today I wanted to write about something that my mom said to me and and something she asked me the other day that got me to thinking. But first, let me give you a bit of background on how I’ve been feeling with regard to my body image lately.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve decreased the intensity of my workouts this past month. To some people it may still seem like I’m pushing myself hard, and that’s because I am! I am still challenging myself, but I’m no longer overdoing it like I was before. I’m no longer pushing myself to the extreme anymore.

Instead of dreading going to the gym like I was, I now look forward to it again. Instead of feeling lethargic and like my body is struggling to get through a workout, I now feel energized and strong.Β All of this is great and I definitely think my hip bursitis is thanking me. I still have hip pain sometimes if I don’t stretch it out enough, but it’s nothing near where it was before.

The one bad thing that has come with this is that I’ve been struggling with my body image more than I would like to admit. On top of doing less intense exercise, decreasing the length of some of my workouts, and celebrations around graduation and Memorial Day – I feel sort of blahh. Also, I tried on some jean shorts from last summer and they no longer fit around my thighs. I went to American Eagle and had to go up a size which was really frustrating for me and honestly gives me some anxiety.

Logically I know that I look fine, but that warped mental aspect from my disordered eating days has been rearing its ugly head. I also know that my thighs are probably not bigger than they were last summer, but they are stronger since I’ve been doing different types of workouts. In fact, if I flex my thighs I can see all of the muscle. I’ve also pretty much stayed the same weight, give or take a few pounds.

So back to my mom’s comment and question. I was talking about this stuff with her the other day and complaining and telling her that while I was basically the same weight as I was in high school, my body looks different, feels different, and clothes fit me differently. I was telling her that it’s annoying because that disordered part of me wants to fit into the same jean size as I did then.

The first thing she said was around the lines of “Lindsay, as you get older your body is going to change. Yes, you may weigh the same but your body shape has been changing to basically prepare you to be able to give birth some day.”

And then the question that I can’t stop thinking about: “Lindsay, do you want to look like a little girl? Because in high school your body was still more like that of a little girl than it is now.”

Um wow….when I think about it, NO, I do not want to look like a little girl. I want to look like the young woman that I am….and that’s exactly how I do look right now. I need to stop dwelling on how I looked in the past. I also need to recognize that how my body looks right now is pretty damn good. For the most part I eat really well, and yes I splurge on occasion but I would hate it if I didn’t. I also work hard in the gym.

If this is what my body looks like when doing the things I’m doing, then I should be happy! Sure, I could eat clean all the effing time and workout much harder than I do…but frankly I think I’d be miserable and I know that my body wouldn’t be able to handle it because well duh, I’ve already figured that one out the hard way.

So no, I don’t want to look like a little girl. I don’t want to be miserable trying to obtain that “little girl” body. I need to focus on being happy with the healthy body I have and I need to focus on treating it well.Β 

———————

Anyway, I hope you all have an awesome Friday! Today I’m driving with my mom, her bf, my brother, and my mom’s friend down to Florida. We’re going to Rosemary Beach for vacation! I’ll have wifi down there though, so I’ll be checking in throughout the week :D.

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About In Sweetness and In Health

I'm Lindsay! I'm a 23 year-old graduate student in occupational therapy. I love all things health and fitness related and this blog will document my life as I learn to really love myself, try to stop worrying so much about my body, and truly take advantage of all the sweet things that life offers us.

Posted on June 1, 2012, in About Me, Body Image, Health, Mind. Bookmark the permalink. 81 Comments.

  1. yes yes yes!!!

    when i was a full time trainer it seemed as though the majority of my female clients wanted to look like little boys.

    SOME NATURALLY HAD THAT STRUCTURE—but so few…

  2. that’s so very true. a very good way to look at things. your momma sounds like a smart lady! πŸ™‚ have a great weekend!!

  3. Love this, Lindsay πŸ™‚ I’m sorry you’ve been feeling a little down about your body lately, but it sounds like your mom is awesome and that you’ve got your head in the right place. I’ve definitely experienced this – when I was in grad school, I wasn’t doing anything much differently but I still could tell my body was changing and things don’t fit exactly the same. I remember talking about it with a friend who reminded me that getting older brings all kinds of changes, including changes in our body. While I still can’t say I’m happy about that 100% of the time, I definitely embrace it more now πŸ™‚

    Have a wonderful weekend, beautiful lady!

    • Thank you Michelle! I hope you have a wonderful weekend too :D. I’m glad that you were able to talk to a friend and be reminded of this…I think we all need that reminder sometimes!

  4. I totally agree – I don’t want to look like a little girl either! I think it’s hard to accept, but as we get older our bodies do change!

  5. I love this post! I have been going through the same thing lately and reminding myself that I don’t want to look like a twelve year old, but rather like the young women I am helps a lot. We need to embrace our bodies instead of hating them and wishing they were different. Hard to do but totally worth it<3

  6. You have a very smart mom! Thanks for this post!

  7. So true, girl! I feel like I’ve seen lots of changes in my body throughout the years following high school. Things just seem to … shift haha. πŸ˜‰ I’ve been struggling a little bit recently with self-image too (I know I know … ironic since I’m the one that emailed out that Bible verse and said we needed to focus on seeing ourselves as God sees us!). But I think your mom gave you some great advice and points to focus on. Love ya, friend!

    • Haha I love how you worded it – “shift” ;). And I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been struggling too!! You are SOOOOO pretty…and I’ll definitely be praying that all of us can see us the way God does and the way others do! Love ya too! Good luck with moving this weekend!

  8. amen sister!! I want to have CURVES!!! That’s what Travis wants!

    • Haha that’s what Chris wants too!! Our men know what’s right…ladies need to get on the same page πŸ™‚

  9. Stellina @ My Yogurt Addiction

    That’s a really good analogy! I hate not fitting into a certain size as well. Stupid numbers!

  10. so true!!!! love that you’re able to recognize what she’s saying an embrace it!

  11. Great post! “I need to focus on being happy with the healthy body I have and I need to focus on treating it well. ” <—- ABSOLUTELY! πŸ™‚

  12. Love that analogy! It really makes sense.

  13. Wow. I’ve never thought about it that way! I’ve noticed differences in my body (that I haven’t been thrilled about) despite a consistent weight this year. It’s been difficult to keep in mind that it’s okay to allow my body to change. It makes it easier to think that maybe it’s just my body changing away from a little girl’s build to more of a woman’s build! Thanks for sharing!

    • You’re welcome! It’s amazing how that little comment/question can really make you think about your body differently!

  14. Your Mom is quite wise. As a mother, I can say that while my body is not the same shape that it was when I was 18, it is far more beautiful now.

  15. Your mom put it perfectly!! It’s so true. The way I look now was NOT how I looked when I was 18, but I think I look even better now because I look more like a woman. Embrace it, girl. It sounds like you’re doing everything right by listening to your body.

  16. I totally agree with what your saying. I think it is hard as a girl to not be able to fit into the same size that you used to. However one thing I have to say is that sizing at every store for woman is so out of whack. You could be a size 2 in one store a 4 in the next and even an 8 in another. Or even in the same store one day you may be a 2 and the next you may be a 4. It is totally screwing with woman’s minds!

    Although it’s hard because I know I struggle with it to it is more about how you feel in your body and in your clothes…the rest is just a number. As long as you feel good that’s the only thing that counts!

  17. That little girl comment is so true. My husband reminds me of that all the time. If I comment on how I used to look or how someone else looks he’ll say, “That’s gross. She looks like she’s in fourth grade.” It makes me think that sometimes girls are hardest on ourselves and each other. I’m proud of the fact that I’m strong, and I need to remember that the next time I feel a bit envious or less-than-stellar about myself.

    • Your husband sounds like a great guy! And that’s such a good idea to remember those things…you are gorgeous girl!

  18. LOVE this post linds!! i love your mom’s comment… today’s society puts this ideal image into our heads that we need to be a super tiny size with no curves which essentially make women look like little girls. in reality, i don’t even think that’s beautiful as a woman, so why are we constantly striving for that? you have no idea how much i struggled with this at first when i was changing my lifestyle too… you know you can talk to me about it any time! πŸ˜‰ as i’ve mentioned before, we as women are made to have a little curve to us! you are absolutely beautiful!!

    • Thank you so much Ash!! It’s crazy how we don’t think that looking like a little girl is pretty, yet it’s what we strive for! Society has warped our brains haha. You are gorgeous girlfriend :D. And anytime you need to talk too, let me know! Love ya!

  19. I completely agree. I was actually thinking about this the other day (the fact that I shouldn’t expect to wear a size zero because I did when I was 21), and I’ve been trying to adjust my thought process about my body. Love you girl!

    • Aw good, I’m glad you’ve been trying to adjust your thought process! And I’m obviously here if you ever want to talk about anything :D. Love you too ❀

  20. Can definitely relate to your feelings. It’s hard to deal with sometimes but…I remind myself of where I used to be and how much happier I am now. Plus, I think about how I know my guy (and yours I’m sure) doesn’t care about that and would love me no matter what I weighed. Maybe that’s silly but it helps me to know that I’m loved uncoditionally. Your body will change and that’s not a bad thing!

    • Not silly at all!! I think that totally helps, knowing that someone loves you that much :D. Hope you have a great weekend girl!

  21. Such a great post Lindsay! I have actually gained muscle lately and have been taking more rest days than ever but it has actually been nice. My jeans have been a little tight around my thighs, but I can see so much more definition in them. So amen, I do not want to look like a little girl either!! Curves and muscles are where it’s at. Plus, we need a little dessert and wine in our lives from time to time, am I right? ;D

    • Thanks Brittany!! Yay to seeing more definition!! And um yes, we definitely need some dessert and wine in our lives πŸ˜‰

  22. Oh wow, thanks for this! Really needed to hear this!!

  23. Oh honey, I can SO relate to this!! I have been feeling the same way, and I know I’ve gained some weight, which is really bothering me. Technically, I understand that I’m not fat, but the disordered part of my head is telling me that I need to reduce the “pudge” here or there. It’s so frustrating! I wish I could just eat normally and appreciate my body for all the things it can do, instead of beating myself up for all the things I view as shortcomings. Anyway, you’re definitely not alone, and if you figure out some way to make these bad thoughts go away, please share because I have them, too! Hope you have a fantastic weekend, and remember that you are a gorgeous girl!! XO

    • Haha I wish I could figure it out too. And remember too that you are absolutely gorgeous as well!! I wish that we could rid our brains of that disordered thinking! Hope you have a great weekend pretty lady <3. xxoo

  24. Your mama is a smart woman! I’m glad you recognize that.

  25. Definitely a positive way to think about it. We’ll never stop changing, so we might as well embrace the changes! I also think it’s interesting how some days our moods really affect the way we see ourselves even though nothing has really changed. The more you think positively, the more you’ll like what you see in the mirror.

    • Yes! It’s so interesting to see how our moods impact our body image…maybe I should just stay away from the mirror when I’m having a bad day haha

  26. You’re mom is SO smart πŸ™‚ And SO are you! Plus, you’re gorgeous. And hello strong legs and booty?!!! You’ve got it going on, my friend!!

    DOn’t worry for a second about comparing yourself to your past self or to others–it only makes us sad and not live in the moment. I promise, you look amazing, and you KNOW you feel good when you eat a certain way or workout a certain way. Plus, as my mom told me once when I was anorexic “don’t you want to have kids one day?!” ……And yes to that. SO grateful for the insights of others that helped me through it. You ARE amazing!!!!! Thanks for sharing–it helps everyone out to know there are other women who go through body image issues, and that it is OKAY to feel sad. But it’s not okay to keep hurting ourselves or our minds. Way to be honest with yourself! Proud of you, babe. xoxoxo

    Happy Friday!

    • Thank you so much Annette!! You are so kind, and I can seriously say that your positive blog posts and constant uplifting words about having a good body image have been so helpful for me! You are gorgeous, inside and out girl!! Hope you have a great vacation πŸ˜€

  27. I struggle with this too! You are NOT ALONE! It’s hard because so much of what we see in the media is “little girls bodies” and even though we celebrate womanly curves, I always feel like we celebrate the little girl bodies more and just celebrate womanly curves because we sorta have to, to be politically correct.

    Sometimes I get so frustrated, but thats why I love the blogging community, because you find out – through posts like this, that you are not alone in feeling this way. We all have days.

    • YES! It’s sad that we sometimes only praise those curves because we “have to” in a sense. And I’m always happy to know that I’m not alone…it makes me feel like I’m not in fact crazy haha.

  28. Great post, Lindsay! A real, strong, curvy, normal female body is not only what men want (really, they do!) but what we should strive for – strength in beauty in our bodies being simply female. Thanks for sharing your process and your thoughts with us – obviously you’ve got lots of people supporting this realization and ready to affirm you for who you are – a beautiful WOMAN. πŸ˜€

    • Thank you so much Bonnie!! You are a gorgeous woman too..thank you for always sharing such inspiring and uplifting things on your blog!!

  29. moms always put things into perspective πŸ˜€

    I have to admit since turning 20 I feel like my body has changed more too but i think as long as we remember there is more to life than what we look like – everything will be okay πŸ™‚

  30. Brittany @ Itty Bits of Balance

    Amen, amen, amen! Although I already sent you a text about how happy I was to read this post, I’ve gotta say it in a comment as well! This is SO true, and SUCH an amazing way to look at our bodies! Lately my body has definitely been becoming “curvier”, but I’m strangely starting to like it more as time goes on. Will even told me that he’s been finding me even more attractive lately– which just shows how strange and far off our mindsets can be!

    • Yay! That is so good to hear that you are starting to like it more :D. That makes me so happy! And Will is awesome! Chris has told me too that he likes a bit more curves. Our men apparently know where it’s at haha

  31. Great post. This is something I find myself asking internally all the time. My HS relationship really messed me up. We were on again off again for like 10+ years and when we were in our young 20s he always asked why I couldn’t look as good as I did when I was 14. The answer? Because I’m an adult woman now AND I had an eating disorder then. WTF. I wish I could say it went away for me, but sadly I still struggle at times.

    • Wow, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with comments like that! I hope that you are able to continually struggle less and less!!

  32. Beautiful post Lindsay ❀ I am so proud of you for coming to this realization. I remember three years ago having this same conversation with my Mom ❀

  33. I feel like there is not much more to say to this other than YESSS YES YES! Amen to your words here Lindsay! First, your mom is one wise lady and I think my mom and yours would get along quite well haha πŸ™‚ Second, this is just so TRUE, why do we keep striving to maintain at a low weight that is not appropriate for our bodies and just is too small for a woman! I know I am far from being accepting of this and really loving my body, but it’s posts like this that give me a kick in the patooty and a reminder of what I need to do to stop this BS thinking already.

    I am sorry you were struggling with body image and disordered eating, but these reminders are going to keep on helping your lovely self as well πŸ™‚

  34. Great post Lindsay! I think everyone can relate to this feeling at some point in time! It’s so true that a person’s body shape changes. I very vividly remember waking up one morning & all of a sudden realizing my hips seemed much wider than ever before. I always just figure if I’m working out & eating (mostly) healthy, everything will be ok!

  35. Amen. This is such a great message Lindsay! And I definitely struggle with the same things that yo sure talking about in this post! I’m decreasing my fitness this week and although it is really hard mentally, and I’m struggling with body image, this is a great way to view our bodies. I love what your mom had to say, mom’s are the best aren’t they! I’m so proud of you for keeping up what you know is best for your body in the long term! You are definitely inspiring me to do the same!

  36. Thank you for this, I read it at the perfect time! Last night I put on a pair of jeans that I haven’t worn in over a month since it’s been so warm outside, and they were tight in the thighs. First I was upset, but then I realized it’s probably just because I’ve been doing a lot more strength training. Even though I’m still the same size I wore in high school, my body just isn’t built the same. It’s kind of frustrating, especially when it requires going up a size at certain stores, but I guess we just have to face the fact that we’re not teenagers anymore.

    • Yes we def aren’t teens anymore haha…and good for you for doing more strength training! You are beautiful Emily πŸ˜€

  37. That is so true! Its sometimes a struggle for me to accept a more womanly body, but am realizing that its a WONDERFUL thing! So happy to find your blog!

  38. I love love love love love this!! I have been struggling with body image here lately too! I think I’m going to print out what your mom said and read it daily! I certainly don’t want to look like a little girl. I think you are beautiful, and I hope you have a great time at the beach! Love you friend!

    • Aw girl, I’m sorry you’ve been struggling too! You are gorgeous Brittany <3. I hope you have a great time at the beach as well! Love u πŸ™‚

  39. It’s so true! I’ve often felt the same way because no matter what you do, as you hit the mid 20’s I feel like your body changes no matter. Those changes aren’t necessarily bad, but it does take some getting used to (sometimes I still wonder where these hips came from?!). I think what was really hard for me was not being able to shop in juniors anymore. I realized that nothing in there had room for hips/breast which made clothes shopping frustrating. Thanks for the post and helping others realize that they aren’t the only ones that feel that way.

  40. I was at a friends house looking at old photos last night and she kept saying she wanted her old “small” body back. The wise words of this post helped me encourage her! Thanks

  41. Amen, Lindsay!! Everything you wrote here really resonated with me. I strove to look like a little girl for 10 years, yet even when I obtained that “ideal” body, I *still* wasn’t happy. Society promises that thin = satisfaction, yet it’s all one huge lie! Like you, I’ve also been learning to embrace my new curves. Some days are more challenging than others, but I’ve never felt so empowered in my life. I am a WOMAN and I’m going to celebrate it. πŸ˜€

  42. Oh my gosh, I absolutely love this post. And good good good for you for celebrating how wonderful you are RIGHT NOW! It’s can be so hard to do, especially with the pressures of planning a wedding, I’m sure!

  43. So I went to this post after seeing your post that referenced it before even finishing that one because I was so curious to see what it was all about.

    I’m so glad you pointed this out to everyone (and me!!)!

    I, too, weigh about the same as I did in high school, but in high school I was in size zero jeans. Now..not so much.

    And I also tried to wear some shorts that fit fine last year but were a little snug now. It’s so weird how our bodies are STILL changing. I’m 25! Isn’t all that over with??

    But I’m glad my body is preparing to be a mom because that is something I am really excited for someday. I will look at it from that viewpoint from now on!!

    Thanks for this post Lindsay! And tell your mom thanks too! πŸ˜‰

  44. Hey girl!

    I just wanted to make a point in saying that I loved this post so very much. Growing up, I always longed to have a stick-thin figure. I’ve always had more curve to me, so this was something that seemed almost impossible to attain. During MY days of disordered eating, I almost took a comfort in the frail state of my being. Now? I look at myself and I want gain – lean muscle – but still gain.

    I find it amazing that switch! A year ago today, I would have been afraid to say that I, Caitlyn, wanted to gain anything to my body. But now, this concept of strength is everything to me!

    Not to mention, I always her women (post pregnancy) discussing how they’ve never felt more beautiful, or sexy, than they do then. I really hope I am able to attest to that one day. πŸ™‚

    Again, beautiful post.

    You’re absolutely gorgeous, no matter what!

    Stay sweet,

    Caitlyn

  45. LOVE this post, Lindsay! It’s so true to remember that our bodies are changing as we get older, and that isn’t a bad thing at all…thanks for the reminder! πŸ™‚

  46. Love this post girl, you hit the nail on the head! Sometimes I look at my senior pictures and long to look tiny like that again, but the truth is that I was only 17 and wasn’t eating enough! Now I am almost 24 and I take much better care of my body, so whatever shape I am is what I am supposed to be! πŸ™‚

  47. I think these are wise words from your mum and this is a well written and meaningful blog post. I’ve been in your situation too and it’s only been in the last year or so that I’ve fully accepted that my body will never be the same as it used to be and nor do I want it to be. At my skinniest a few years ago I didn’t have any shape, clothes hung off me, I had no boobs and also my skin and hair was pretty yucky! Since learning to love food again and not to deprive myself sure I’ve put on more weight and my weight and size have gone up and down every now and then as I try to find my balance but I’m so glad I gave up on skinny me. I love me now way more and would never go back. I have a shape, I have strong bones, I am healthy and most of all I am happy.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences and your post. Made my day πŸ™‚

  48. A very relatable struggle for basically EVERY woman. There is a HUGE Victoria’s Secret billboard that I pass on my walk to work every morning. Not the best/most comforting way to start the day. I just try to remember that comparing myself to anyone else (let alone supermodels) is never going to lead me to happiness.

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